Star Stuff

My wife called me earlier to say that I got some "big envelope" from "some space place" in the mail today. I assume that it's from Name A Star Live. :)

She asked me what it was. I didn't know what to say, other than "Can't tell ya".

She left it at that.

I hope I don't get anymore questions about it. Dammit, it's for Valentine's Day.

Super Bowl Ads

I can't help but laugh every time I watch this Super Bowl ad:

That has to be one of the best ones. The other Sierra Mist ad is pretty good too.

Ready When Promised

Or so LensCrafters claims.

"Just tell us what's convenient and your glasses will be ready when promised. LensCrafters has provided one-hour service since 1983*. Some prescriptions or lens materials may require additional time."

*One-hour service available in most locations.

I'm still waiting for my new glasses. Tomorrow will be 7 days of waiting.

I can see so-so using my driving glasses, but reading a newspaper is damn near impossible without holding it far away from my eyes. Using the computer isn't as bad, but I can feel my eyes getting tired after a few hours.

In their defence, they did warn me what it would take a few days because two of their three machines kept "going down". I told them that it wasn't a problem. I guess that was my mistake.

My wife called them last Thursday(?) to inquire about a time frame. They told her that the machines all came back up, but then went down again. They couldn't give her an estimate of when they'd be ready. She asked them if I could cancel, if I wanted to. They said yes.

I'm a fairly patient and understanding guy. I know things go wrong. My wife has very little patience and told me last week that I should cancel it and go somewhere else. But 7 days is just about my limit here.

I tried calling them earlier, but they weren't open yet. They open at noon, apparently. We'll see what they say. I surely can't be the only person waiting.

I think tomorrow evening will be the deadline I ask for. What sucks about canceling is that I'll still have to go somewhere else and wait yet again, possibly even a few days.

Regardless, I'm going to need to know when they'll be ready. If they can't give me any time frame, or if it's more than a couple of days, then I'll have no choice but to cancel and take my chances elsewhere.

Ice skating memories

Late this afternoon, a few co-workers and I had a chat about ice skating. At some point, someone brought up the topic of ice skating and that triggered a couple of very funny memories of two incidents I had when I was younger. I had to share it with them.

The first was when I must have been about 10 years old or so in the mid 70's. My class at school was going ice skating at an indoor hockey arena in our town. I think I had only been ice skating once or twice before that.

Anyway, we got to the arena. I laced up and made my way down to the rink, and stepped onto the ice.

Instantly, my ass met the cold ice surface. I grabbed the boards and pulled myself up, pushed off, and took a few strides.

Once again. Down I went.

Remember, I was a noob skater.

I continued like this, all the way around the entire rink.

A teenager, who must have been watching me struggle, skated up to me and said, "You know, it's easier if you take your skate guards off."

Oops.

The second incident was in the late 80's. Rather than sit in my friend's basement, drinking, listening to music and shooting the shit -- which is what my friends and I usually did every weekend -- someone decided that we should all go skating for a change. Since Winterlude was in full swing, it seemed like a cool idea.

We grabbed our skates and bussed it downtown. The canal was pretty busy. We went to one of the change huts, put on our skates and took off down the canal.

We didn't make it very far. I hit a crack in the ice and wiped out. No big deal. I stood up, took a few strides and wiped out again. The first thing that came to mind was "WTF? Are my skates that dull?" I had my skate guards in my hand, so I knew that wasn't the problem. :)

I persisted, but something didn't feel right. The lighting was poor, so it was a little difficult to actually see my skates. I stumbled over to the edge of the canal and had a look at them. Just as I was checking the blade on my right skate, one of my friends came flying up on his skates laughing and said "Hey check this out -- someone lost a skate blade!"

Yep. It was mine.

I had those all-plastic Micron skates, and the plastic supports that held the blade on had totally cracked, and the blade came off. In fact, the remaining plastic was crumbling between my fingers. And it wasn't even that cold! I guess over the years, the plastic just got weaker or something. Piece of shit.

Needless to say, our skating excursion was over. They tried to convince me to rent skates, but I was bummed out and pissed off. I wanted to go home and drink, listen to music, and shoot the shit. :)

I won't be happy until I lose my legs

"I won't be happy until I lose my legs"

That's on one incredibly bizarre story. After reading it, I sat here for 5 minutes trying to understand why anyone would want to lose a limb because they believe that it's the way they should be.

The condition is called body identity integrity disorder or BIID. According to the BIID web site...

"Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID, is a psychological condition in which the individual requests an elective amputation. Individuals with this condition experience the persistent desire to have their body physically match the idealized image they have of themselves."

The human mind sure is strange.

No turning back now

Well, I did it. I am now registered for the RONA MS Bike Tour in August.

I'm anxious. Excited. Starting to feel motivated. And stunned. All at the same time. :)

If you'd care to sponsor me, you can follow this link. I haven't done any customizing to my personal page there yet. Or, if you'd prefer to sponsor the team that I'm a part of, go here. It doesn't look like the team page has had any customizations done yet either.

Paying for your mistakes

The Ottawa Sun ran a follow-up article to the licence plate theft article last weekend. Glad to see it all over and done with! I'm sure the students won' t be pulling any stunts like that again. Or at least not post pictures about it. :)